FAQ for Him
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   See also:
Women's FAQ
General FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions for Him

Q: What are the benefits to working with a male therapist?
A: I have a great deal of experience working with female counselors, both as a colleague and as a client, so I very much believe in males working with female counselors. Some of my most influential mentors were the women I encountered in a therapeutic setting over the years. However, I discovered long ago the power of working with a male therapist and have believed in the pairing of men in a therapeutic setting ever since.

A therapist need not have experienced every issue a client brings into counseling to be able to work effectively with them (what tortured souls us therapists would be if that were the case), however the value of a therapist being able to relate in a very personal way to the majority of issues men bring into therapy is immeasurable, and the same sex commonality of counselor and client is one I have come to believe in.

Additionally, men generally have a much harder time opening up about their problems than women and often find it easier to discuss certain men's issues with another male.

The Seattle Times wrote a great piece about the value of men working with male therapists,
found here.

Q: For what issues do men commmonly seek counseling?
A: Men enter into counseling for a number of reasons, many of them the same as those that bring women into therapy, but the following are issues I often work with men on: depression & anxiety, marriage/relationship problems, communication skill building, restricted range of emotion, controlling or rigid behavior, affairs (wanting to prevent for themselves or having had it done to them), marriage separation or divorce, questioning sexuality, and alcohol or substance abuse.

Q: My relationship is ending. Can you save it?
A: While I cannot guarantee that our work together, either individually or as a couple, can save your relationship (nor should anyone make that promise), I can say that a couple has not done everything they can for an ailing relationship if they have not yet sought professional help. We go to doctors when our bodies are ailing, to lawyers for legal help, and accountants for tax expertise. Couples counseling is where we turn if we find that we need expertise in creating and maintaining healthy relationships.

Having said this, if our work together, either in individual counseling or with your partner, cannot save your relationship, we can work together to help you so that you can create a different type of relationship the next time around.

Q: What if my partner won't go to counseling?
A: If your partner won't go to counseling it might be helpful to go without them. It is not uncommon for some women to postpone couple's counseling because they want their male partners to prove they really will go to counseling and start make some changes before they'll come in with them. Most women are open to counseling, so if she's refusing right now that will likely change if you focus first on making some changes with yourself.