Clarity Counseling Seattle, P.S.


How does that make you feel?

Woman holding head next to therapist | Counseling Seattle WA

That's the quintessential joke we make about therapists, right? Always asking us about our feelings! While Dan, Justin, and I do so much more than inquire about our client's emotions, it's also the case that how someone relates to their feelings is often a huge factor in why and how they experience the challenges that bring them into therapy in the first place. We're given all sorts of misinformation about what we're supposed to do with the more difficult emotions like sadness, anger, fear, and guilt, and those less-healthy approaches to managing feelings can cause us distress.

Here is a brief description of the role of emotions that may help ...

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Overcoming Procrastination

Person holding clock | Counseling Seattle WA

I recently came across this Psychology Today article that does a better job than most at giving practical advice about addressing procrastination.

Tips on How to Address Procrastination

  1. One of the simplest and most effective solutions is to just get started anywhere on a task. The moment you think "I'll feel more like doing this later" or "I work better under pressure," recognize that you're just about to procrastinate and stop yourself.
  2. Don't think too far ahead. Just aim for a little progress. Research indicates that establishing a low threshold to task engagement fuels motivation and changes the perception of the task. You'll find it's not as bad as you thought.
  3. Move ...

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The Gift of Menopause (but this is for everyone to read)

Close up of field of flowers | Therapist Seattle WA

Someone recently sent me this NYT article, and though it's about the changes brought about my menopause, it contains some great wisdom that I wanted to share. She's a 56-year-old woman, forced to reflect on aging as she has recently been rejected in hopes of adopting a puppy (I guess you can be too old for that). She is trying to adjust to the changes brought about by menopause, but more so by the process of aging itself, and how this is teaching her to redefine what's important to pay attention to, worry about, and to cherish in life.


I’m grateful to have reached it [age 56]. I’ve buried too ...

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Choosing to Heal

Choosing to Heal

I recently came across this passage from Emily Nagoski's amazing & important book, Come As You Are:

A friend of mine left a bad relationship and declared (on Facebook), "I choose to hurt no longer. [Ex-partner] can't hurt me anymore." The second sentence is 100 percent true and is cause for celebration. But the first sentence doesn't make any sense from an attachment/completing-the-cycle point of view. When you leave a bad relationship, you have all this pent-up hurt and rage, and even fear locked up inside you, which must be allowed to discharge safely.

What makes more sense is, "I choose to allow the hurt to heal." Healing always involves pain - ...

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Finding and Attracting a Partner

For single men and women ready to get back into the dating game, or who are currently in it but not finding prospects, it might be helpful to remember that the energy we put out is picked up by those around us. There's nothing woo-woo about this - people can sense when we're open to finding love and connecting with those around us.

Try to harness this energy you have in you and carry it around in the world. approachable. Because there will be someone nearby who then sees you as open and friendly and emitting that available, sexy energy, which will draw them to you.

Get Out Into the World

It's ...

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