Clarity Counseling Seattle


I don't know how to act my age

Birthday Card | Seattle WA TherapyI came across this card in a store the other day and was struck by how it hits on something that often comes up with my clients that I believe is so important:  you've never done this before.

Every moment we're alive is new and different, if only a little bit, and therefore something we've never quite encountered. You've never been here before, where ever or whatever here is. Even if it's a situation we've been in previously, that was its own experience and therefore differs in ways we're typically unaware of but that make the current iteration of ...

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In the end...

I recently came across this at a friend's home and loved it. Since they wouldn't let me leave with it I had to take a photo! Like some of the wisest ideas, it's simple but so powerful. Of course, simple doesn't mean easy...learning to let go is a lifelong process for most of us, but a worthy endeavor.

I'd like to think my work with clients, both individually and as couples, helps them to live, love, and let go more effectively.


Photo of banner | Therapist Seattle WA

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How does that make you feel?

Woman holding head next to therapist | Counseling Seattle WA

That's the quintessential joke we make about therapists, right? Always asking us about our feelings! While Dan, John, Justin, and I do so much more than inquire about our client's emotions, it's also the case that how someone relates to their feelings is often a huge factor in why and how they experience the challenges that bring them into therapy in the first place. We're given all sorts of misinformation about what we're supposed to do with the more difficult emotions like sadness, anger, fear, and guilt, and those less-healthy approaches to managing feelings can cause us distress.

Here is a brief description of the role of emotions that may ...

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S = P x R

Counseling in Seattle WA

This concept related to acceptance and resistance is something I've called upon in my work with clients for many years, yet never thought to include in a blog post. But it's just so incredibly useful that it should be shared. A hard concept to integrate, but to the extent that you can, life simply becomes easier!

The idea is this:   S = P x R   Suffering equals Pain times Resistance   *Pain in inevitable in life; Resistance is something we add.

Accept pain for what it is because it does exist. Pain includes both physical and emotional pain.

Resisting our pain worsens our suffering. Resistance can include: Shoulds, Coulds, Woulds, Denial, Pushing away, Holding ...

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2018 had bad, but also a lot of good

Woman Jumping for Joy | Therapist Seattle WA

It's so easy to become mired in the things we hear about in the news that are inhumane, discouraging, or downright scary. It can be helpful to remember that, although they may not make the headlines, there are at all times good things happening in the world. Individuals, groups, organizations, even countries are performing some pretty inspiring and hopeful acts. To balance out some of the chaos and uncertainty of 2018, here is an excerpt from a CNN article called 2018 wasn't ALL bad. Here are all the good things that happened in the world (By Andrea Diaz and Christina Maxouris, CNN):


North and South Korea vowed to ...

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Overcoming Procrastination

Person holding clock | Counseling Seattle WA

I recently came across this Psychology Today article that does a better job than most at giving practical advice about addressing procrastination.

Tips on How to Address Procrastination

  1. One of the simplest and most effective solutions is to just get started anywhere on a task. The moment you think "I'll feel more like doing this later" or "I work better under pressure," recognize that you're just about to procrastinate and stop yourself.
  2. Don't think too far ahead. Just aim for a little progress. Research indicates that establishing a low threshold to task engagement fuels motivation and changes the perception of the task. You'll find it's not as bad as you thought.
  3. Move ...

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The Gift of Menopause (but this is for everyone to read)

Close up of field of flowers | Therapist Seattle WA

Someone recently sent me this NYT article, and though it's about the changes brought about my menopause, it contains some great wisdom that I wanted to share. She's a 56-year-old woman, forced to reflect on aging as she has recently been rejected in hopes of adopting a puppy (apparently you can be too old for that). She is trying to adjust to the changes brought about by menopause, but more so by the process of aging itself, and how this is teaching her to redefine what's important to pay attention to, worry about, and to cherish in life.


I’m grateful to have reached it [age 56]. I’ve buried too ...

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