"Stay or Go" Counseling in Seattle, WA

Discernment Counseling Seattle WAIs your relationship worth saving?

It's a huge decision, and sometimes we need some help in making that determination.

If your relationship has reached a point where it’s too good to leave but too bad to stay, it might be time for what we call “discernment” counseling, sometimes referred to as “stay or go” counseling.

Maybe your relationship isn't meeting your needs of connection, safety, closeness, intimacy, friendship. Should you keep trying? If you’ve invested a lot of time and energy into this partnership, this question can feel insurmountable. Discernment counseling is designed for couples who are in this situation. Whether one or both of you are unsure of how to proceed and to determine whether the relationship can be saved, I can help you make the decision.

What Is Discernment Counseling?

Unlike other types of counseling, which can be more long-term in nature, discernment counseling is intended to be brief therapy. You will work together with your counselor to clarify the next steps in your relationship. Our goal will not be to solve the problems in your relationship but rather to determine whether they can be resolved.

Following discernment counseling, you may choose to proceed with either couples counseling or one-on-one counseling.

When Is Discernment Counseling Appropriate?

I've seen couples in all kinds of situations come to discernment counseling. Do any of these scenarios sound like what you are currently going through?

  • Your partner wants to save the relationship, but you are ambivalent as to whether this is the right solution.
  • You feel the relationship is worth saving, but your partner is unsure whether or not to stay.
  • One or both of you aren't sure whether to commit to relationship therapy, but you are at least willing to discuss this hesitation with a qualified and skilled relationship counselor.

What Decisions Are Likely Made in Discernment Counseling?

During the one to five sessions that are common with discernment counseling, one of the following decisions are usually made:

  • To make no changes for now
  • To divorce or break up
  • To give the relationship one last major effort with a course of relationship therapy

I recognize that these questions can be difficult and not every relationship can be saved. But I have the skill and experience to help you work through the challenging questions and determine whether the problems you are facing can be resolved.

I make every effort to provide you with the calm environment you need to feel relaxed and safe, to be present, and to make real decisions about your relationship. I invite you to call my Seattle counseling practice, located on Westlake Avenue North in the Queen Anne/South Lake Union area, to request an appointment.

Let me help you with this struggle.