Clarity Counseling Seattle

Timing is everything! Well not always, but it IS something to consider

November 3, 2022
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Posted By: Clarity Counseling Seattle
Seattle relationship therapy

Are you ready for love? While that initial spark between you and a potential lover can certainly feel as if you're prepared to start a new relationship journey, have you asked yourself if this is the right time in your life? Studies have shown that timing plays an important role in the success of our relationships. While other factors certainly play into the healthy growth of a relationship, timing can very much affect who we end up with, so not asking yourself if this is the correct time for you (or the other person) can put the relationship in jeopardy, or just not allow it to develop at all.

Timing in relationships can be viewed as a personal feeling of whether or not now is an adequate time to be intimate and involved with someone. Each of us decides when the timing is suitable for any situation or opportunity that we're considering entering into, and we determine our correct timing based on various factors. For example, some people will swear off dating for a while because they just got out of a serious relationship and aren't ready, or because they want to shift their focus on their education or career.

When we talk about timing in relationships, we're referring to people who can be and have been in a relationship. For example, if you avoid intimacy in general, you might be emotionally unavailable rather than it being a problem with timing. In such a case, timing will probably always seem off until you address your general avoidance of intimacy. *The therapists at Clarity Counseling Seattle love helping people who avoid intimacy, either in the couples therapy / couples counseling we do, or when working with just one person.

Timing and relationships are connected in various ways. Whether it's good or bad timing, a relationship's success depends on a number of factors. If many, or possibly even just one, of those factors doesn't align in the potential relationship, it may be doomed from the beginning. Some factors to consider when entering a new relationship are:

  • Maturity
  • Life goals
  • Prior relationship experience
  • Future aspirations
  • Personal growth
  • Experience
  • Age
  • Emotional availability
  • Sexuality
  • Love vs. infatuation
  • Readiness

Timing will help determine our actions when it comes to relationships. People who feel ready to make an effort in a relationship will be more willing to dedicate time to make it work, to work on self-improvement, and will likely be more satisfied with it since it was their own choice. 

There is no perfect timing, but there is such a thing as good or bad timing in relationships.

Timing is impactful as we are more or less ready to work on ourselves and invest in self-development at various stages of our life. Conversely, if we meet the “right person” at a time when we aren't prepared to progress with someone else, long-term commitment and fulfillment may elude us, as all relationships require compromise and change.

Are you struggling with being ready for your next loving relationship? Are you and your partner wanting help working with some concerning differences between you? That's what our Seattle relationship counselors at Clarity do, so please reach out.

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