The holidays are supposed to be joyful, right? Time with family, festive traditions, shopping for the perfect gift. But for many people, this season also brings a surprising amount of stress and sadness. Even the fun parts, like meals, parties, decorations, can feel overwhelming. And on top of it all, we're still dealing with the lasting impact of Covid, which continues to shape how we connect, gather, and celebrate.
That mix of emotions is more common than you might think. The good news? There are ways to move through it with a little more ease. These tips aren’t about pretending everything’s perfect. They're about making space for your real experience and finding your way to something that feels more peaceful.
Let Yourself Feel What You Feel
Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean you have to be happy. If you’re grieving a loss, going through a tough transition, or feeling far away from the people you love, it’s okay to name that. Pushing those feelings aside usually backfires. Giving yourself permission to feel what’s true can actually make it easier to move through those emotions.
Reach Out, Even If It’s Hard
Feeling isolated during the holidays can make everything harder. If you're longing for connection, try to reach out. That might mean attending a small community event, joining a therapy session, texting a friend, or calling a family member. Sometimes just knowing someone is there to listen makes all the difference. And chances are, you’re not the only one feeling this way.
Give Back in Simple Ways
Helping others can soften emotional pain. It doesn’t need to be a huge effort—drop off a treat to a neighbor, donate to a local food drive, or check in on someone who might be having a rough season too. Acts of kindness tend to ripple outward, and you may notice they come back to you as well.
Adjust Expectations
It’s easy to get caught in comparisons to how the holidays “should” feel, especially if you’re reflecting on past years or scrolling through social media. But perfection isn’t the goal. Traditions can evolve. You’re allowed to scale things down, say no to obligations, or create new rituals that better fit your life right now. If family can’t visit, a video chat might offer a surprising amount of warmth. If usual gatherings feel too stressful, a quiet walk with a friend might be enough.
Say No Without Guilt
This one is big. If something doesn’t feel good or manageable, it’s okay to say no. Overcommitting can make the holidays feel heavier than they need to be. You can protect your time and energy without needing to explain or apologize. A thoughtful “not this year” can be a form of self-care.
Know Your Triggers
Try to notice what tends to send you into a spiral. Is it money stress? Family tension? Too many plans and not enough downtime? Once you recognize those patterns, you can make small adjustments before they take over. A little planning and reflection can help you move through the season with a greater sense of steadiness.
If your efforts to feel better aren’t working, you're not alone. Sometimes the best gift you can give yourself is support. We’re here if you want to talk. At Clarity Counseling Seattle, we offer individual therapy, relationship therapy, and other ways to support you through tough emotional seasons. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Wishing you peace, comfort, and space to be gentle with yourself this holiday season.