Clarity Counseling Seattle

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I don't know how to act my age

Birthday Card | Seattle WA TherapyI came across this card in a store the other day and was struck by how it hits on something that often comes up with my clients that I believe is so important:  you've never done this before.

Every moment we're alive is new and different, if only a little bit, and therefore something we've never quite encountered. You've never been here before, where ever or whatever here is. Even if it's a situation we've been in previously, that was its own experience and therefore differs in ways we're typically unaware of but that make the current iteration of ...

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In the end...

I recently came across this at a friend's home and loved it. Since they wouldn't let me leave with it I had to take a photo! Like some of the wisest ideas, it's simple but so powerful. Of course, simple doesn't mean easy...learning to let go is a lifelong process for most of us, but a worthy endeavor.

I'd like to think my work with clients, both individually and as couples, helps them to live, love, and let go more effectively.

 

Photo of banner | Therapist Seattle WA

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How does that make you feel?

Woman holding head next to therapist | Counseling Seattle WA

That's the quintessential joke we make about therapists, right? Always asking us about our feelings! While Dan, John, Justin, and I do so much more than inquire about our client's emotions, it's also the case that how someone relates to their feelings is often a huge factor in why and how they experience the challenges that bring them into therapy in the first place. We're given all sorts of misinformation about what we're supposed to do with the more difficult emotions like sadness, anger, fear, and guilt, and those less-healthy approaches to managing feelings can cause us distress.

Here is a brief description of the role of emotions that may ...

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S = P x R

Counseling in Seattle WA

This concept related to acceptance and resistance is something I've called upon in my work with clients for many years, yet never thought to include in a blog post. But it's just so incredibly useful that it should be shared. A hard concept to integrate, but to the extent that you can, life simply becomes easier!

The idea is this:   S = P x R   Suffering equals Pain times Resistance   *Pain in inevitable in life; Resistance is something we add.

Accept pain for what it is because it does exist. Pain includes both physical and emotional pain.

Resisting our pain worsens our suffering. Resistance can include: Shoulds, Coulds, Woulds, Denial, Pushing away, Holding ...

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2018 had bad, but also a lot of good

Woman Jumping for Joy | Therapist Seattle WA

It's so easy to become mired in the things we hear about in the news that are inhumane, discouraging, or downright scary. It can be helpful to remember that, although they may not make the headlines, there are at all times good things happening in the world. Individuals, groups, organizations, even countries are performing some pretty inspiring and hopeful acts. To balance out some of the chaos and uncertainty of 2018, here is an excerpt from a CNN article called 2018 wasn't ALL bad. Here are all the good things that happened in the world (By Andrea Diaz and Christina Maxouris, CNN):

THE WORLD

North and South Korea vowed to ...

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But why a sex therapist?

Man and woman holding hands | Clarity Counseling Seattle

Our practice often receives inquiries from folks asking about the need for their individual or couples therapist to be specifically trained in sex/intimacy issues. This is certainly understandable considering the relative few fully-trained sex therapists as compared to therapists without this specialty, especially in a city like Seattle which has a great number of licensed and able therapists. Those of us trained in sex & intimacy issues are more difficult to find, to book sessions with, and we often charge more money. Plus, shouldn’t clients assume that any counselor claiming qualifications to work with relationships be ready to help address relational sexual distress?

Sex Therapy Education

Unfortunately, the educational programs we ...

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