Clarity Counseling Seattle, P.S.

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The Gift of Menopause (but this is for everyone to read)

Close up of field of flowers | Therapist Seattle WA

Someone recently sent me this NYT article, and though it's about the changes brought about my menopause, it contains some great wisdom that I wanted to share. She's a 56-year-old woman, forced to reflect on aging as she has recently been rejected in hopes of adopting a puppy (I guess you can be too old for that). She is trying to adjust to the changes brought about by menopause, but more so by the process of aging itself, and how this is teaching her to redefine what's important to pay attention to, worry about, and to cherish in life.

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I’m grateful to have reached it [age 56]. I’ve buried too ...

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The Stress Diagram

Someone sent me this a while ago and I've found it invaluable in helping clients to understand the distinction between what happens when we gain mindfulness skills. The left side is typically what we experience when we haven't put time & effort (and it really does take both time & effort!) into acquiring skills around being present and connected to our bodies. The right side shows the ways in which we can healthily influence the physical, emotional, and mental experience we have when dealing with stressors. In my practice I have seen many, many folks over the years learn to move from the left side of this diagram ...

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36 Questions to Fall in Love

Younger Couples hugging | Therapy Seattle WA

Maybe you've heard of this, or even done this activity already. It was from a New York Times article a few years ago as part of a research study measuring how people fall in love. Not surprisingly that includes getting to know someone much more deeply and openly through, among other things, the sharing of feelings, opinions, dreams, and desires.

If you're in a relationship and haven't done the exercise below, give it a try! Just make sure you set up an environment that's conducive to a meaningful interaction: phones & tv off, without others around, while sober, and sitting near each other where you can make eye-contact. See how ...

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Who am I?

"who am I? what am i? are no longer important questions.
           knowing that i am is finally enough..."

Los Angeles poet Wanda Coleman

 

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30 Habits for Happiness

Silhouette of Woman | Counseling in Seattle WA

Someone recently sent the following list of habits for happiness and I wanted to pass it on. Upon reading this list it's easy to gloss over the more mundane habits that have been drilled into us for most of our lives, like "eat well" and "exercise". We've all heard that a thousand times, though when something has been recommended to us over and over again throughout our lives and is recommended really for all of us, there's usually wisdom in that suggestion! I happen to agree with the entirety of the following list, though of course to implement them regularly is the challenge.

For your consideration (with some commentary from me ...

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Choosing to Heal

Choosing to Heal

I recently came across this passage from Emily Nagoski's amazing & important book, Come As You Are:

A friend of mine left a bad relationship and declared (on Facebook), "I choose to hurt no longer. [Ex-partner] can't hurt me anymore." The second sentence is 100 percent true and is cause for celebration. But the first sentence doesn't make any sense from an attachment/completing-the-cycle point of view. When you leave a bad relationship, you have all this pent-up hurt and rage, and even fear locked up inside you, which must be allowed to discharge safely.

What makes more sense is, "I choose to allow the hurt to heal." Healing always involves pain - ...

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