For a deeper dive into this topic, you can also read my guest blog on The Gottman Institute’s site.
We live in a culture that often teaches boys and men to be self-reliant, emotionally stoic, and solution-oriented. Those lessons can be helpful in some parts of life—but when it comes to mental health and relationships, they often backfire.
For many men, the idea of asking for help feels like a weakness. Showing emotion? Risky. Talking openly about personal struggles? Uncomfortable at best. These beliefs don’t just make it harder to connect with others—they can have a real and lasting impact on mental well-being.
How masculinity can complicate emotional health
Traditional views of masculinity emphasize strength, control, and independence. There’s nothing wrong with those traits in themselves—but when they crowd out vulnerability, self-reflection, and emotional expression, it can be hard to recognize when something’s wrong, let alone take steps to address it.
As therapists who work with men every day, we see this play out in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Men may come in for relationship counseling or individual therapy but struggle at first to put their emotional experience into words. Some minimize their stress, while others stay silent until things hit a breaking point. For many, even acknowledging they need support feels like a battle.
Isn’t this getting better with younger generations?
In some ways, yes—mental health awareness has come a long way. Younger generations are more likely to talk about therapy, name their emotions, and challenge outdated gender norms. But that doesn’t mean the deeper messages about masculinity have disappeared. Many men still carry the internalized belief that they should tough it out, figure things out on their own, or feel ashamed for needing help.
These beliefs can also make it harder for men to build meaningful friendships. Isolation, emotional shutdown, and self-medicating behaviors (like substance use) can all stem from feeling like there’s no safe space to be real. Unfortunately, these dynamics contribute to higher rates of untreated depression in men and a reluctance to pursue therapy until things feel unmanageable.
How to know when it’s time to talk to someone
If your relationships are suffering, you’re withdrawing socially, struggling at work, or noticing a dip in your emotional health, those are signs worth paying attention to. And if you’ve had thoughts of suicide—however fleeting—that’s not something to brush aside. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from support. In fact, the earlier you address what’s going on, the more options you’ll have for healing and growth.
Therapy for men in Seattle
At Clarity Counseling Seattle, we provide therapy for men that honors your experiences, respects your strengths, and makes room for the full range of your emotions. We understand that asking for support isn’t easy—but it’s not a failure. It’s a move toward something better.
If you’re ready to begin a conversation, we’re here. Schedule a consult or send us a message. We’ll walk with you from there.