The Rise of the Therapy Tech Boom
In recent years a number of online therapy platforms have exploded in popularity. Companies like Alma, Headway, and BetterHelp make it easier than ever to find a therapist, get on insurance panels, and manage the business side of things. On paper it all sounds great, both for clients and therapists alike. But as a relationship and sex therapist who has done couples therapy in Seattle for years, my colleagues and I are seeing a different story unfold. And it’s not one that’s helping couples build stronger, healthier, more connected relationships.
What These Platforms Promise...and What They Don’t!
These platforms do offer some real conveniences. They make scheduling easier, help with insurance, and offer new therapists a faster way to fill their caseloads. For someone starting out, that can be incredibly appealing.
But what doesn’t get talked about enough is what gets lost—especially in the world of marriage counseling and sex therapy. These platforms are backed by investors, and that totally changes things. They’re built for scale, not nuance. And that often means shorter sessions, fewer long-term commitments, and less time to do the kind of deep, emotionally vulnerable work that couples and polycules often need. It also forces clients to use the telehealth / online therapy format, which not every client wants, either for relationship counseling or individual counseling.
Risk of Losing Depth in Relationship Work
In couples therapy, depth matters. The issues people bring in—broken trust, years of resentment, communication breakdown—aren’t the kinds of things that get resolved in a handful of brief sessions. It takes time, space, and a therapist who can be fully present.
When the work includes sex and intimacy issues, that depth becomes even more essential. These are topics that require tremendous sensitivity and emotional safety. But platform-based therapy often nudges clinicians toward speed: short sessions, high caseloads, and tech tools that prioritize efficiency. That model might be fine for some types of care, but it doesn’t work well when you’re sitting with two people trying to rebuild intimacy or reconnect emotionally. Healing requires presence, not productivity metrics.
How Platforms Compromise the Therapy Relationship
The relationship between a therapist and a couple is just as critical as the one between partners. It’s a space where both people are seen, heard, and supported. But that kind of safety takes time to build.
When therapy is delivered through a platform, the nature of that relationship can feel transactional. Therapists may feel pressured to keep things moving, clients might feel like they’re just another case, and meaningful progress gets lost in the shuffle. That’s not what couples in distress need...they need consistency, patience, and a therapist who’s not rushing to meet a quota.
Privacy Concerns in Intimate Work
Couples therapy often brings up the most intimate, vulnerable parts of people’s lives (infidelity, family dynamics, sexual challenges, deep emotional wounds). As a sex therapist in Seattle, I see firsthand how much courage it takes to speak these truths aloud. Clients trust us with these stories because they expect safety and discretion.
While most platforms are HIPAA-compliant, their broader data practices can still raise red flags. Data gets aggregated...algorithms do tracking...and terms of service favor the company over the client, which all chips away at the trust that therapy is built on. In relationship and sex therapy, that erosion of trust matters. A lot!
The Impact on New Relationship Therapists
Therapists entering the field through platforms may never learn how to build a sustainable, values-driven private practice. That includes not just business skills, but the clinical instincts that come from working at a slower pace: sitting with the silence, navigating tension, and being present with discomfort.
Without those experiences, it’s hard to develop the kind of attunement that good couples and sex therapy require. Platforms tend to filter for what’s billable, not what’s transformational. And that’s a loss, for the therapists and for the couples & polycules they’re trying to help.
What This Means for Couples and Their Healing
The best relationship therapy helps people learn to turn toward each other, not away. It creates space for vulnerability, accountability, and real change. The same is true for sex therapy, where trust and emotional safety are prerequisites for open conversation and repair. But that kind of work can’t be rushed, automated, or scaled on demand. Partners deserve more than just convenience—they deserve care that honors the complexity of their lives and their love. And therapists deserve to practice in a way that supports that kind of care, not undermines it.
Keeping Couples Therapy Human
Therapy isn’t just about tools or technology...it’s about connection. Especially in relationship and intimacy work, where the stakes are high and the emotions are raw, we need to protect the parts of this work that make it meaningful. As the industry shifts and platforms continue to grow, I sure hope we don't lose sight of what really matters: presence, trust, and the healing power of being seen and supported. Couples therapy should be a place of depth, not just a checkbox on a digital dashboard. I think we owe our clients that.