Many of my friends have recently transitioned to parenthood, and one common theme they’ve shared is how unexpectedly hard—and sometimes even depressing—that transition can be. Most of us have heard of women experiencing postpartum depression, but fewer people realize that men can suffer too. Feelings of sadness, anxiety, irritability, loneliness, and even grief are not uncommon for new fathers. In fact, Paternal Postnatal Depression (PPND) affects about 1 in 10 men in the early postpartum months. That number climbs to a staggering 68% within the first five years of their child’s life.
That’s a huge segment of men silently struggling with mental health. Yet culturally, there’s still very little space for men to talk about their emotional experiences as new parents. Men often feel pressure to “stay strong,” and are more likely to express PPND through anger, irritability, exhaustion, and withdrawal rather than overt sadness. At Clarity Counseling Seattle, we work with many men who never realized they were dealing with something so common—and treatable.
Isolation plays a big role in male postpartum depression. While many communities and providers focus heavily on the mother’s well-being, fathers are frequently left out of the equation. New parent groups are often female-dominated, and men may not feel welcomed or emotionally safe in those spaces. Meanwhile, inside the home, early parenting dynamics like breastfeeding can deepen the bond between mom and baby, while leaving dads unsure of their role. Some fathers describe feeling ‘shut out’ or even ‘useless,’ which only compounds the sense of emotional isolation.
It’s not just cultural or situational either. Hormonal shifts also occur in men after childbirth. Research shows that testosterone levels drop in new dads—an evolutionary nudge toward nurturing behavior—but this change is also linked to depressive symptoms.
Despite how common PPND is, the stigma around it remains strong. Many dads feel embarrassed or ashamed that they’re not enjoying fatherhood the way they “should.” And when these feelings go unspoken, they tend to fester and grow. But having mixed emotions about new parenthood is entirely normal. Your whole life has changed—and it's okay to grieve aspects of your former life even as you embrace the new one.
Support for New Fathers in Seattle, WA
Therapy offers a judgment-free space where men can process the emotional challenges of fatherhood, reconnect with their partners, and rediscover their own needs and identities in the process. If you're a dad—or partnered with one—who’s struggling more than expected, reach out to our team. We’re here to support your transition into parenthood.
You might also appreciate this helpful resource from Choosing Therapy, which goes deeper into how postpartum depression can affect men.