You’ve probably heard the classic joke about therapists: “But how does that make you feel?” While therapists do so much more than ask about feelings, there’s truth in the idea that our relationship with emotions plays a major role in mental and relational health. At Clarity Counseling Seattle, we often help clients uncover the impact of cultural myths and internalized beliefs about emotions—especially the difficult ones like fear, anger, guilt, and sadness.
Understanding the *function* of emotions can be a turning point in how we relate to ourselves. Here are a few essential reasons why we have feelings—and why they matter:
1. Emotions Communicate Important Information
Emotions act as internal signals that help us make sense of what’s happening. Fear alerts us to danger. Anger tells us we’ve been wronged. Sadness signals loss. These internal experiences also influence the people around us—through facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice—sometimes more powerfully than words.
Consider how a child learns to avoid danger by watching their parent’s fearful reaction. Or how we’re moved by an emotional commercial. Emotional communication is fast, intuitive, and powerful—and it helps us stay connected to each other.
2. Emotions Prepare Us for Action
Feelings aren’t just mental; they’re physical. Emotions mobilize our bodies for survival and change. Fear can prompt fight, flight, or freeze. Anger boosts adrenaline and helps us set boundaries. Sadness can bring withdrawal, helping us process grief.
Even uncomfortable feelings carry wisdom. A spike in anxiety may push us to prepare more thoroughly for a presentation. Anger may show us where change is needed. Our emotions often signal unmet needs or misaligned values.
3. Emotions Deepen Life’s Meaning
Joy, pride, excitement—these are obvious emotional highs. But even so-called “negative” emotions enrich our lives. Sadness reminds us we’ve loved deeply. Vulnerability draws us closer to others. Pain fosters empathy.
As we grow more familiar with our inner world, emotions stop feeling like weaknesses and start feeling like messengers. They point to what matters most. And often, allowing difficult emotions is exactly what leads to personal growth, deeper relationships, and healing.
In other words, a full emotional range is the cost—and gift—of a meaningful life.
And that’s where therapy comes in. When we work with clients to form stronger emotional connections or navigate tough life choices, we often begin with one foundational skill: getting curious about your feelings rather than fearing or avoiding them.
Feelings may be hard to face at times, but learning to honor and befriend them can be one of the most powerful steps you take toward a richer, more grounded life.