Let’s be honest—feeling good about ourselves isn’t always easy. Everyone has moments of doubt, whether it’s questioning our worth, our skills, or our ability to handle what life throws at us. But when those moments stretch into weeks or even years, low self-esteem can start to shape how we see the world, how we show up in relationships, and how we treat ourselves. And that can be exhausting.
If you’re stuck in a loop of self-criticism or constantly second-guessing yourself, you’re not alone. It’s more common than you might think, and the good news is, it’s something that can change. At Clarity Counseling Seattle, we work with people every day who want to stop being their own worst critic and start building a more compassionate relationship with themselves.
Where does low self-esteem come from?
For many people, struggles with self-worth begin early in life. Our sense of self is shaped by the people around us—parents, teachers, friends, and sometimes even the media. Messages like “You’re not enough” or “You’ll never measure up” don’t always come in obvious ways, but they stick. And when those messages are repeated, even subtly, they can form the foundation of how we view ourselves well into adulthood.
Sometimes it’s not one big event but a series of small, painful experiences. Maybe you didn’t get the support you needed during a difficult time. Maybe you felt invisible in your own family. Over time, those experiences can lead to an internal narrative that’s hard to shake.
How self-esteem struggles show up in daily life
Low self-esteem doesn’t always announce itself loudly. It might look like avoiding social plans, doubting your abilities at work, or never speaking up for what you need in a relationship. It often shows up in the voice inside your head—the one that says you’re messing up, that you’re too much or not enough, that you don’t deserve good things.
These internal messages can have a big impact. Without a sense of inner support, it can be hard to feel safe in the world. Over time, self-esteem issues can lead to bigger mental health concerns, including depression or anxiety, or even contribute to substance use as a coping mechanism.
Therapy can help you rewrite the story
If you’re tired of beating yourself up, therapy is a great place to start. We offer both individual therapy and online therapy in Seattle, and many people come to us specifically to work on issues like self-confidence, self-worth, and negative self-talk.
One approach we often use is helping clients identify the automatic beliefs that run in the background of their minds—things like “I don’t belong,” or “I’m a failure.” These thoughts might feel true, but we teach clients how to step back, examine them more closely, and learn how to respond in a way that’s more honest and supportive.
Another helpful tool is self-compassion. This isn’t about ignoring your mistakes or pretending everything’s perfect—it’s about treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer to a friend. Self-compassion practices, often rooted in mindfulness, can help soften the harsh inner voice and build a new foundation of self-trust and resilience.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
Books and workshops can be helpful, but if you want real, lasting change, working with a therapist can make a big difference. At Clarity Counseling Seattle, our team supports people through all kinds of personal challenges, and self-esteem is a topic that shows up more often than you might expect.
Even though we’re best known for relationship therapy in Seattle, we’ve helped many clients reconnect with their inner worth and feel more confident in themselves again. If you’re ready to explore what that could look like for you, reach out to our team. You don’t need to do this alone—and you’re not supposed to.