Clarity Counseling Seattle
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Ten Dating Tips

October 7, 2017
Posted By: Justin Pere, MA, LMHC
Smiling Couple | Seattle WA Counseling

Everyone can learn something about how to date more often, how to attract the types of people we want to attract, and how to make sure initial chemistry grows into an enduring relationship. Here are some things to consider when out in the dating world, and if you'd like us to help you with this please come on in:

1. Get prepared for dating.

If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won't even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit to not giving up.

2. Get your act together.

Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit, and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though these things will not find you a date in themselves, you will feel a lot more confident about yourself, which others will sense.

3. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look.

Get your image the way you want it - one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you're not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up in a way that works for you.

4. Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect.

Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

5. Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims.

By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don't sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships. Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

6. Choose those you have a good chance of dating.

Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.

7. Join clubs, groups, societies, sports - whatever might help you meet like-minded potential partners.

You'll likely not meet people by staying indoors. Many have tried and failed at this approach.

8. Take time off from dating occasionally if it's not going well or causing dating fatigue.

Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. You will inevitably hit rough patches, but don't let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.

9. Enjoy dating for what it is: dating.

It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two great people along the way.

10. Try not to make yourself too available.

People like mystery, enigma, and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you (within reason), the more likely that love may blossom. If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship may eventually wither away.

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