The phrase usually comes out carefully, almost like it’s been rehearsed. One partner finally asks, "What if we just took a break?" And then the silence lands. Not because the question is simple, but because the answer rarely is.
If you’re here, maybe you’re already asking it. Maybe things feel strained but not totally broken. Maybe you’re unsure whether space would ...
The short answer? Yes. Often!
Many people assume couples therapy is a last resort…something you do when your relationship is in crisis. But therapy isn’t just for those at the breaking point. It can also be a space for deepening connection, building skills, and staying emotionally attuned when things are mostly going well.
If you’re wondering whether you need therapy even when ...
Relationship advice is everywhere. It’s on your phone, in your feed, whispered in reels, shouted on podcasts. Advice is easy to come by... but deep healing? That’s something entirely different.
We thought we'd talk in this blog about why apps, tips, and influencer quotes can feel helpful (and sometimes are!), but often don’t get to the root of what’s really going ...
In a recent feature by Catherine Pearson for the New York Times, I had the opportunity to contribute thoughts on a rising relationship trend known as “mankeeping.” What follows are some expanded reflections based on that article and my own work as a therapist supporting men and couples.
“Mankeeping” may be a new term, but the dynamic ...
AI Relationship Tools vs. Real Couples Therapy: What’s the Difference...and Does It Even Matter?
It’s easy to see the appeal! Just answer a few questions online, and an AI tool gives you a detailed report about your relationship, plus some video lessons to improve your communication. You and your partner can even “chat” with a virtual relationship coach. Convenient, right?
AI-enhanced couples ...
In my work as a relationship counselor and sex therapist in Seattle, I’ve seen how difficult it can be to recognize when something that looks like affection is actually manipulation. That’s the confusing reality of love bombing—a relational pattern where someone uses intense praise, attention, or gestures to create fast emotional closeness, often before trust has had a ...
In couples therapy, there’s a theme I hear often. Not shouted, but more so sighed. One partner leans in and says, “I feel like I’m the only one holding the emotional weight of this relationship.” It’s not always easy to name, but that invisible strain they’re talking about? That’s what we call emotional labor.
Emotional labor ...
In recent years a number of online therapy platforms have exploded in popularity. Companies like Alma, Headway, and BetterHelp make it easier than ever to find a therapist, get on insurance panels, and manage the business side of things. On paper it all sounds great, both for clients and therapists alike. But as a ...
One of the most common questions we hear is: “Does health insurance cover sex therapy?” Unfortunately, the answer is almost always no. While we would love for couples to be able to use their insurance benefits for sex therapy or relationship counseling, the reality is that health insurance rarely covers this type of treatment. And even when an insurance ...
For a long time, couples therapy meant sitting in a quiet office, face-to-face with your therapist. But these days, more and more couples are choosing to meet virtually, and many of them are finding it just as helpful (if not more so) than in-person sessions. If you’ve been wondering, “Is online couples counseling really possible?”—we’re here to say yes. ...
It’s a question we’re asked more often than you might think: “Will you tell us if we should break up?”
For many couples beginning therapy, the stakes feel incredibly high. They’re hurting, unsure, and hoping for clarity—even if they’re not sure what form that clarity should take. As Seattle couples therapists, our role isn’t to decide the fate of your ...
Too often, couples come to therapy as a last resort—after months or years of tension, disconnection, or repeated conflict. But couples therapy doesn’t have to be a crisis response. In fact, as a Seattle couples therapist, I see therapy as one of the most meaningful investments people can make in their partnership. Not just to fix what’s broken, but ...
Relationships, like the rhythm of life in Seattle, have their own seasons—periods of warmth and closeness, followed by stretches that feel distant or strained. If you’re starting to wonder whether your marriage or long-term relationship might benefit from therapy, you’re not alone. Many couples wait longer than they need to before reaching out. But recognizing that something feels off is ...
Beginning therapy is a meaningful step—and sticking with it over time is a sign of real commitment to your growth. But what if your current therapist isn’t quite the right fit anymore? Even when therapy has helped in the past, there may come a point when something starts to feel off. Maybe the progress has slowed, or you no longer ...
That initial chemistry with someone new can feel electric—like maybe you’ve finally found the right person. But before you dive in, here’s a question worth pausing over: Is this actually the right time for you to be starting a relationship?
It's something we see often in therapy. You meet someone great, the connection is there, but things still don’t quite work. ...
The COVID-19 pandemic pushed many of us beyond what we thought we could handle. For some, it didn’t just test our limits—it revealed them. Even now, as life moves forward in fits and starts, you might still feel a kind of lingering exhaustion. Maybe your patience is worn thin, your energy never quite refills, or your ability to focus seems ...
Most of us like to believe we’re good listeners. But if someone asked you to repeat what your partner just said in a heated conversation, could you do it accurately? Often, we’re preparing our own response, defending ourselves in our head, or trying to stay calm. But in those moments, we’re not truly listening—we’re waiting to speak.
This kind of listening ...
We all know communication is key in any relationship, but we usually think of that as the words we say. In truth, what we don’t say often speaks the loudest. Whether you're in a long-term partnership, navigating new love, or exploring polyamorous relationships, nonverbal communication plays a powerful role in how we connect.
Over time, it’s easy to slip into ...
In a time when so much feels uncertain, it’s no surprise if your relationship feels a little unsteady too. Over the past few years, many couples have found themselves feeling more disconnected—emotionally drained, out of sync, or simply not quite in step with each other. Even amid all this upheaval, though, it’s still possible to foster closeness in meaningful, everyday ...
At Clarity Counseling Seattle, we work with couples in all phases of their relationship—new, long-term, uncertain, or somewhere in between. Some relationships are fundamentally healthy and worth investing in, while others have become emotionally or physically unsafe. We offer space for exploration, not assumptions.
If you and your partner are feeling stuck, disconnected, or conflicted, our trained Seattle couples ...
Someone recently sent me this image from Burning Man, and I had to share it. It’s a stunning art installation titled “Love” by artist Alexander Milov. Two wireframe adults sit back-to-back, turned away from each other in what looks like emotional shutdown. But inside each figure is a child—glowing, innocent, and reaching out to the other. It's a brilliant visual ...
"The biggest communication problem is that we don't listen to understand. We listen to reply."
This quote resonates with many of the couples and individuals we work with at Clarity Counseling Seattle. In emotionally charged conversations, it’s easy to focus on what you’re going to say next instead of being fully present with what your partner is trying to express. ...
Maybe you've heard of this, or even done this activity already. It was from a New York Times article a few years ago as part of a research study measuring how people fall in love. Not surprisingly that includes getting to know someone much more deeply and openly through, among other things, the sharing of feelings, opinions, dreams, and desires.
So this completely perpetuates stereotypes about therapists and therapy but it's just too good not to share:
If you’ve ever found yourself in a long, spiraling argument with your partner — one that starts with a small comment and ends in hours of hurt feelings — you’re not alone. Many couples struggle with recurring conflicts that seem to gain intensity the longer they go on. But there are practical tools that can help reduce the duration and ...