Many people assume sexual desire works like a green light: first you feel desire, then you act on it. When desire is low or inconsistent, people often wait—sometimes for weeks or months—for that feeling to return before initiating intimacy.
In long-term relationships, that sequence often flips.
Rather than desire leading the way, desire frequently shows up after someone takes initiative. Understanding this ...
Sex is supposed to be about connection...but what if it starts to feel like something else entirely? Like a test you’re afraid to fail? For many people that shift happens slowly. And then, one day, they notice they’re no longer looking forward to intimacy - they’re bracing for it.
Let’s talk about what that means, how it shows up, and why ...
When couples struggle with intimacy, the first instinct is often to focus on desire. "Why don’t I want sex more?" "What happened to my libido?" But from our work with individuals, couples, and polycules at Clarity, we’ve learned that desire is rarely the whole story. Often something is simply getting in the way...and that’s where the concept of accelerators and ...
So many couples come to therapy thinking something must be wrong because their desire has changed. "Why don't I feel the same passion I used to?" is a question we hear often, and it's such a tender, vulnerable place to be.
As relationship therapists who also specialize in sex ...
It can be so difficult to talk about erectile dysfunction. But if you or your partner(s) is/are struggling with ED, know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. We see this all the time in our work with couples and individuals at Clarity, where sex therapy is a core part ...
Sexual connection often plays a central role in the health of a relationship—but it’s also one of the most commonly misunderstood or avoided topics in couples therapy. As experienced sex therapists in Seattle, we see every week how strengthening a couple’s sexual connection can deepen emotional intimacy and foster renewed closeness. Whether you're in a long-term relationship or just ...
Greetings from the heart of Seattle! I’m Justin Pere, leading the passionate team at Clarity Counseling Seattle, where we specialize in the nuanced realms of sex and relationship therapy for individuals, as well as marriage counseling and sex therapy for couples. A common question we hear is: “How do I know when it’s time to see ...
Sexual health and emotional intimacy are essential to well-being, but many people experience struggles in this area at some point in their lives. Whether you're dealing with a specific concern or just hoping to reconnect with yourself or a partner, sex therapy in Seattle can help. With the guidance of a skilled therapist, individuals, couples, and polycules can better ...
Welcoming a baby into your life is a powerful and emotional milestone. For many couples, though, this transition can come with unexpected shifts in sexual connection. From hormonal changes and exhaustion to the evolving roles of parenthood, it’s no surprise that intimacy often takes a back seat during the postpartum period. Some couples find their sexual connection stalls for months—or ...
One of the most common issues couples bring up in sex and intimacy therapy is dissatisfaction—not with each other, necessarily, but with how hard it is to talk openly about what’s working in their sex life... and what’s not.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, newly committed, or part of a polycule, conversations about sex can easily feel vulnerable or ...
If you're part of the LGBTQIA+ community and looking for a therapist, you already know that finding the *right* fit matters. You want someone who not only understands the nuances of gender and sexuality—but also someone you feel safe opening up to. At Clarity, we proudly offer affirming therapy for individuals, couples, and polycules of all identities and orientations.
Our ...
One of my longtime mentors—and a local legend in the field of sex therapy—Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, recently sat down with Dr. Tom Walsh for an engaging conversation on the iHeart Radio podcast Men’s Health Monthly. Dr. Walsh directs the University of Washington’s Men’s Health Center, and Tina leads the Northwest Institute on Intimacy (NWIOI), ...
If you and your partner struggle to connect sexually, you’re not alone. Most couples experience periods of low desire or mismatched libido, especially during stressful seasons of life. But if your sex life has become a source of tension, hurt, or distance, it may be time to get support. At Clarity Counseling Seattle, we specialize in working with couples ...
“The talk” isn’t what it used to be—and in many ways, it still isn’t what it should be. For many of us, sex education growing up was vague, clinical, awkward, or rooted in shame. Essential topics like consent, emotional safety, pleasure, identity, and sexual diversity were often left out entirely. Even today, those outdated messages about sex and sexuality ...
People often ask whether they really need to see a therapist who’s specifically trained in sex and intimacy issues. It’s a fair question—especially in a city like Seattle, where there are many excellent therapists. So why might you need a sex therapist in particular?
The reality is that very few graduate programs offer in-depth training in sexual health. Most therapists ...